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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?